Hello, I am alive, and reviewing Doctor Who, sorry, just had a lot going on recently, but I should be a bit free now. Right, I thought I should review this two parter in one part, but it will be longer than normal, if that makes sense.
The Rebel Flesh opens quaintly really, but of course, Amy is hung up on the whole doctor death thing, but, ooh look, Rory is getting screen time, and its good, finally, lets hope it continues. This Doctor is a pushover, he really is, Amy, Rory, can I drop you off, you know, get some space maybe. Cut to Amy screaming "NOOO, YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME! DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW YOUR SECRET YOU MONSTER!", so he has to take them, which was a bit of a shame, would have been nice to have had another Deadly Assassin moment.
OK, the other characters, we have Cleaves, your typical boss type, hard and not got a soft side until they actually need to be hard, then we have Buzzer, a character who promises so much charisma and a jokey nature, who then goes sour, and unhappy, very sour and very unhappy. Jimmy, your dad out working to provide and conveniently his sons birthday is tomorrow, then Jennifer, sweet and nice (What the hell is she doing on a bloody chemical mining site thing) but then she goes super schizo. Then there is the other one, I know he was credited with a name, but I won't use it, this person did nothing to the story, but was there, seriously, in the second part, he doesn't even talk on camera until the last *spoiler* death scene bit and at the end. THAT'S IT!
Oh, I'm on a roll now, and going to jump straight to the monster, the flesh is an interesting thing, and this could have been a really psychological episode, relying on thrilling scares rather than naff gore. Whats that BBC, you want naff gore, oh goody. -_-
The make up on the flesh was really cool, it looked spooky, and atmospheric, which I really liked, shame that the setting and the storyline weren't. The setting was meant to be a big monastery, but it felt wrong, like the budget went out of the window hiring Neil Gaiman (So worth it by the way) and they half dressed the set sci-fi and then gave up, completely. Now we go onto the big climactic flesh monster, and all I can say is, what the hell was that, I thought graphics were meant to get better as years went on, I watched "Tooth and Claw" the other night, and the Werewolf was much better than this atrocity. It looked that slimy that it looked fake, the face was nothing like Jenny's and the hair, weird, the body was abysmal, I was expecting a huge wall of faces of Jenny's sliding along, slowly devouring anything that got in its way, at least something with substance, not this stick thing!
Right, the plot, oh, I thought for a second I was going to start on something actually of any quality, but no, a two parter, in an industrial environment with a revolution in the early stages, and the Doctor is key negotiator, anyone hearing, oh I don't know a little word like SILURIAN! Totally stole from that episode and killed what was good about it, even though I am in the minority in that particular department, it was psychological, fun, nostalgic and not all about the gore and killing. This was terrible, boring, and characters apparently, conveniently had to die.
I will say one thing, Raquael Cassidy as the flesh version of Cleaves was thoroughly entertaining and witty, all the best lines were obviously saved for her, the saving glory of this story, but it pales in comparison to the rest. Oh, and Rory, yes, he is getting some screen time, oh, he's understanding the flesh girl, aw, that's cute, OK, now you go to your wife, what, you're risking death for some girl when the love of your life is begging you to go with her, oh, and you find it acceptable that this girl is hitting on you, oh, you pansy, you locked everyone in the chamber to meet their doom, and now the weird girl knocked you out, GOOD! No, wait I actually like Rory, and look what this writer has done to him. Grr.
Ooh, nearly forgot, Two Doctors, that can't go wrong, oh the one's a nutcase, but he does really good Tom Baker impressions, you have to give him that much. Oh, they swapped shoes, cop out! And the conspiracy theorists will wonder when they swapped, and if the "real" one heard that he's going to die, ooh, nope, bored of this dull dialogue.
I can't even go on, I physically can't the terrible storyline, the random annoying characters, Rory being dragged to a whole new low. Oh, Amy is preggers, didn't see that, oh yeah, did, lol. Oh and now she's flesh, whoop, Rory is being a man and letting his wife go after being told by the angry man for her to meet her fate, you go! Oh, right. And the eye patch lady is back, she was always fun.
I will post the Good Man Goes To War review when I recover from this atrocity. OK, if I recover from this atrocity.
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